Nomad & Roots

On the Fear of Being Seen

2018-08-01 2 Comments

I love photography. It has been a go to hobby of mine for years, and something that I am always working to get just a little bit better at.

Many of my friends are also photogs, some of whom are talented portrait photographers, but over the past few years, they’ve learned that most of the time I’d rather not have my photo taken. I’m much more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it, and for a long time I’ve felt like that’s not a big deal.

Until now.

Now that I’m working to grow my mindset coaching practice, I’m responsible for putting myself out there in the world. Over the past week, three different mentors and friends have pointed out that there aren’t many pictures of me on any of my social media.

One asked, “How do you expect people to feel a connection with you when you aren’t letting them see you?”

That cut deep. It made me face a fact: I have a fear of being seen.

I’m scared that if people see me, they’ll judge me – they’ll see my flaws, my messy hair, the awkward smile I always seem to put on for the camera, the weight I put on in graduate school, and think less of me, or worse, actively ridicule me. It feels so much safer to remain anonymous behind the camera.

When I really sit and think about it, I start to realize that I’ve been using these things as excuses – I’ll start posting more when I lose a few pounds, I’ll put myself out there when I get my wardrobe just right, I’ll do all the things I want to do now a little later when I reach perfect. Except no one is perfect, so if I keep waiting for perfect, I’m going to be waiting a long time.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I’m not a big fan of letting fear run my life or anyone else’s. So while my ego is screaming, “hey let’s not!,” today I’m facing my fear of being seen, and posting a recent picture. Has it been through some touch ups? YUP! (I’m only human, and I’m not ready for a no makeup selfie lol) But this is me, and for the most part I really like me, wobbly bits and all.

What fears are holding you back? Let’s chat about how I can help you break them!


Mindset coach and creative, currently rooted in Washington, DC.


  1. Monica


    Hello Maggie,
    I think your smile is actually very nice and not awkward at all, your hair is not messy. True, you are a bit overweight and the baggy kind of clothing while it makes you feel comfortable it actually helps your body relax even more. This can quite easily be fixed. Taking pics of yourself during ylthe shedding off of extra weight is a very powerful tool for your motivation and self esteem. Taking that step to lifestyle change can and will make such a difference!! I think coaching as such can start after the process has begun (i.e. you set the example for others), unlikely it’ll magically happen before as you need to focus on yourself a lot to be able to really inspire others. Enjoy the journey to new heights!

    • maggie.kaye


      Hi Monica!

      Thank you for the encouragement! I am working on my health and fitness, but those aren’t really factors in my coaching, as I’m not a fitness coach 🙂

      Success for me (and my clients) means loving myself and knowing my value at every weight, especially in a society that tells women that we’re only valuable when we look a certain way. A couple extra pounds doesn’t take away my psychology and behavior degrees, or make me any less capable of helping people find their purpose or cope with their anxiety, but sometimes that’s hard to remember that when we’re constantly bombarded with images and messaging that tell us otherwise. For me, getting in front of the camera is about accepting and loving where I am right now, and knowing that I don’t have to wait to be perfect to make a huge impact on the world. I don’t want my clients waiting to live their best lives either!

      Thanks for being part of my journey!

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